Happiness is...

...when you realize that even though your 'baby' is turning 17, he's still just a kid at heart when he requests a Cookies 'n Cream ice cream cake.

My Dear Sister...

"Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother!” Matthew 12:50

God bless my sister, Jerri! She has spent countless hours by my side at doctors appointments, chemotherapy sessions, crying sessions, and so on! She has been a faithful confidant to me and I could never have gotten through this without her love, support, humor, guidance, and friendship!

"Keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters." Hebrews 13:1

Chemo-Match.Com

My oncologist has done an excellent job of concurrently scheduling chemotherapy for his patients with similar cancers and treatment plans...thankfully so because I met an amazing new friend, Diane. It has been cathartic to be able to share this experience with someone else who knows exactly what I'm going through at the exact same time!

Here's a picture of us sipping on Slurpees and reading gossip magazines, provided by a couple more of my amazing friends, Stevie and Carol!

"Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit." 3 John 1:2

I am weak...

Each time He said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

For the past few days, my weaknesses have been rearing their ugly heads - I have felt sad a depressed. The AC and Taxol are taking their toll on me - bone pain, painful fingers, brown finger nails, tiredness, instantaneous menopause.

As I approach my two remaining chemotherapy treatments, I feel daunted by the ongoing battle I will have to face to keep the cancer from returning: 5-10 years of taking the oral chemotherapy drug Tamoxifen (complete with its own lovely set of side effects); annual PET scans to look for cancer in my lungs, my brain, my bones, etc.; several years of monthly visits to the oncologist for infusions of bone strengtheners; and so on...I wonder if I will ever have a day in the future when I am not wondering and worrying if the cancer is growing somewhere else? And if it does return, will I have the strength to go through chemotherapy again? I must say, if I had to decide that now, the answer would be a resounding NO!

I am weak today. Please pray for me that I receive God's grace in my weakest moments.

A Must See!!!

All my female friends and relatives...please watch!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsyE2rCW71o&feature=youtube_gdata_player

My Dear Friends...

"As a face is reflected in water,
so the heart reflects the real person." Proverbs 27:19

The end of May marks the end of four delicious and comforting months of lovingly prepared and faithfully delivered meals by friends and neighbors! It meant so much to my family and me to be able to sit down together and share dinner several times a week due to the regularly scheduled thoughtfulness!

With each delivery, Steve and I were able to repeatedly remind our children how blessed we are to have such an amazing support system during these difficult times! I am certain that because of your examples of generosity, my children will become better friends to others in need someday!

In particular, I am truly blessed to have a friend like Carrie, who took the time and care to arrange the meal calendar for the past four months and who got the word out to so many people who then took time out of their own busy schedules to make our lives easier during an unimaginable hardship.

God bless you Carrie and ALL my excellent chef friends for giving us such wonderful gifts of food and comfort!

"A friend loveth at all times." Proverbs 17:17

Heavenly Body

"We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing." 2 Corinthians 5:2

My last remaining grandmother passed away a few days ago, and because of the chemo, I'm unable to travel the distance required to attend her funeral. She would have been 97 in July.

She was an amazing woman, one of strength, grace, fortitude, and faith. I have only wonderful memories of time spent with her as a child, and later, as an adult, of time spent with her, my husband, and my own children.

My grandmother was also a devoted mother and wife and her perseverance in life has been an example I intend to follow in my current fight with cancer and throughout the next several years as I strive to become a survivor.

I'm sad for my loss as well as the loss suffered by all her surviving children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. However, in my grandmother's final years, she stood ever ready to go to heaven. She was tired, she missed my grandpa, she missed her dog of 17 years. She longed for her heavenly body and I know she is no longer suffering.

Because of what I've been through these last 8 months, I have never been more sure that "we will enter in this rest with wonders anew...there will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, no more fears."*

And I am grateful that for my grandmother, "the burdens of this place will be no more, she'll see Jesus face to face."*

*Jeremy Camp - There Will Be A Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8gkDiTvloc&feature=youtube_gdata_player

My therapist...

This is a picture of me with my therapist, Deb. She specializes in retail and food therapy. I think her methods are helping!!

3, 2, 1!

Today is my third to last chemotherapy! I'm counting the days until I'm done! Next to me, there are two ladies popping bottles of sparkling cider celebrating their last treatments...something I look forward to doing as well.

My brother is here with me today...the same brother I tortured (lovingly) when we were kids...I once placed pretzel sticks in every orifice on his head (ears, nose, mouth) as he napped on the couch only to laugh hysterically when he awoke dazed with several dozen Mr. Salty's all over his face. He had to endure the Knee Roller Bone Smasher (being pinned down while I ground my knees into his bicep muscles) and probably much more than I can remember but he probably hasn't forgotten, yet he is sitting here with me today for the next five and a half hours.

I guess I was a better sister to him more often than not...he sure is a good brother to me.

Quality vs. Quantity

My third grade son wrote 'Mom is an Angle' on his homemade Mother's Day gift to me. I love it even more than had he spelled angel correctly. I was happily reminded I have lots of time left with him at home.

Sadly, I was also reminded about how fast the time flies...my high school junior is only a year away from leaving for college and my high school freshman is almost a sophomore. I feel as though cancer stole so much time from all of us this past year.

The only upside is, that although cancer stole large quantities of our time together, it has forever, and for the better, changed the quality of our time together...and for that I am truly grateful.

Appreciate the ones you love and tell them how you feel every chance you get!

Artwork by Josef & Jillian

What Doesn't Kill You...

...Makes You Stronger!

Inspiring video!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihGCj5mfCk8&feature=player_embedded

It feels good to feel good!

The first five or so days after my Taxol treatment last week, I felt awful...but the last few days, I have felt GOOD! I know it will only last until my next treatment, but I finally am reminded of what feeling good feels like again and I am starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel!

The beautiful warm weather, blooming trees and flowers, and always loving and supportive friends, family, and neighbors have sure helped me along the way...there is not one note, text, email, voicemail, or notecard that is missed by me and each gesture is so appreciated!

Thanks for your prayers and love!

If you're feeling bad today or any day, I can promise you, it WILL get better eventually!

XO

"Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying." Romans 12:12 NLT

Lisa ☀

Is it too much to ask?

Is it too much to ask my teenage daughter to rub my feet with lotion?

Based on the disgusted look on her face accompanied with a resounding "Gross!", I think.....apparently so.

It gave us both a good laugh. ;)

Trust God's Ways...

This new chemotherapy drug, Taxol, comes with the same old side effects and some new ones. The ones that are the same are nausea, fatigue, headache, and just a general feeling of yuckiness!! The new side effects are soreness, tingling, and numbness in my toes and fingertips, along with pain in my chest when I take a deep breath. It is terrible, but I have to believe it means the drugs are killing cancer cells too.

Which brings me to this: Trust God's Ways!

I can personally attest to this! I have had to go through horrible things, and I have more horrible things to come! But I know that God is making me a better person, mother, wife, friend, daughter, and most importantly a better Christian! I'm not glad I am going through this ordeal, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I trust in God's ways now, more than ever!

"Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him." (Psalm 62:5 NLT)

"You know God does not do bad things. But sometimes you may fail to realize that everything that feels bad to you is not necessarily bad for you. Reminding yourself that His ways are not your ways will help you trust Him even when your circumstances are hard to understand. As this busy day comes to a close, just put yourself in the hands of almighty God, and rest in the knowledge that He is good and knows what's best."

From the book Ending Your Day Right by Joyce Meyer. Copyright 2004 by Joyce Meyer. Published by FaithWords. All rights reserved.

It Could Work!

Well, today I had my first of four Taxol treatments. I was particularly nervous because it is a chemo drug that is highly allergenic. It is administered very slowly (over four hours) so they can monitor any possible drug reactions.

They watch you like a hawk for any hives, redness, itching, difficulty breathing, sudden death (LOL), etc. Any indication of a bad reaction and they are standing by and prepared to 'reverse' the drug at a moments notice!

Thanks in large part to God, I seem to be accepting the drug, and thanks in small part to massive doses of steroids and Benadryl! Yawn!!!

After my marathon treatment, I filmed my oncologist's reaction to this apparent success....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10KObAQFmlY&feature=youtube_gdata_player