I haven't written on my blog in quite awhile. That's good news because it means I've been feeling good and keeping busy!
Mostly busy being team mom for my oldest son's tennis team - his last year as a De La Salle Spartan. It's been a wonderful four years.
When your prospective college student begins to receive admission decision notifications, it's a lot like watching them open presents on Christmas morning - because sometimes they get everything they hoped for, sometimes they get something unexpected, sometimes they get exactly what they expected, and sometimes they're disappointed. Only difference is that as a parent, you no longer have any say or control over what their outcome is. Of course, YOU think your child deserves to get everything they've hoped for, but not everyone else in the real world does. And for our son, and us too, this has been the experience we have had with the recent completion of college decision letters to arrive.
While my son didn't get everything he hoped for, he got some unexpected, exciting, and wonderful choices. And we're quickly realizing that sometimes your Plan B in life, really is meant to be your Plan A. As I write this we are headed to visit Clemson, Purdue, and Villanova, and though I'm excited for my son getting to choose a college, it's a bittersweet journey for me. In less than 5 months time, our family of five will transform into a family of four, with Alec anywhere from 600 to 2-3 thousand miles away.
We'll be able to get a booth at restaurants, so I guess there's one perk to look forward to. Sadly, there'll be less laundry to do, less food to prepare, less mess in the bathroom, and a generally different dynamic.
I often find myself thinking "one year ago this time, I was sick, going through chemo, had no hair, etc". With each day that passes, my unimaginable journey becomes more and more distant and occasionally, I am able to think about the future in more than increments of three months (or when every blood test is pending results). I thought battling cancer was difficult, and believe me it was, but letting go of your first born is proving to be gut wrenching. I find myself crying often.
However, I'm certain that the maturity and experiences my son is so ready for are waiting for him this fall, somewhere on a college campus far away from home. I take solace in the fact that as unready as I am for this, he has never been more ready.
My mother told me that good parents work themselves out of a job. She was right. As difficult as this is, I'm so grateful I'm here to be a part of this transition my son and my family are about to go through. In many ways I have worked myself out of a job with Alec...but I'm still on the clock with my two other employers (Jillian and Josef)...oh yes, how life does go on.
xo
Lisa
