Believe you are here for a reason!

"Believe in something big. Your life is worth a noble motive." - Walter Anderson.

At this time, the results of my PET/CT scan did not reveal any detectable tumors elsewhere in my body (PET/CT can only detect early stage tumors, not individual cancer cells). So for the moment, this is a huge relief. Truth be told though, cancer has a way of stealing away ANY AND ALL sense of relief day after day as sunlight fades and darkness falls...for some reason, nighttime is very hard for me.

In addition, because I have Lymphatic Vascular Invasion, which brings with it a greater likeliness of cancer spreading through my blood stream, I will likely have to repeat the PET/CT scans in one year. In the meantime, I will pray that the chemotherapy will do it's job and kill any rogue cancer cells that may have circulated elsewhere in my body trying to grow into a tumor. Bad cancer! Bad cancer!

Unfortunately, the scans were NOT effective in the diagnosis of additional cancer cells or tumors in my breasts, therefor I am more certain than ever that a mastectomy is, without doubt, the right choice for me.

After my next surgery on January 12th, final pathology will help guide my oncologist regarding the most effective type and duration of chemotherapy required.

For now, I am looking forward to ringing in the new year quietly and gratefully with Steve and our children.

God bless, happy new year...and believe you are here for a reason...I do!


Lisa

Be Merry!

PET/CT Scan today....

I had my PET/CT scan today....it coincided with the 15 year anniversary of my daughter's birth. At 2 1/2 hours in length, the scans also lasted about the same amount of time I was in labor with her all those years ago. Ironic: Back then she was coming out of a dark place while today I was going in one. ;)

I will get the results next Tuesday.

Happy 15th Birthday to my baby girl!!

Stayin Alive....

If you have four minutes to watch this music video, I think you'll enjoy it. Believe it or not this was the 'gold standard' for music videos back in the day (I feel I'm old enough to use that term!)

I listen to this song every morning...it has become my mantra these days.

I loved the 'choreography' and I hope you do too.
Check out this video on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3b9gOtQoq4&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Slow and Steady Wins the Race....

Before receiving my breast cancer diagnosis about 2 months ago, I could never have imagined there would be such a long, slow, and rocky road ahead of me.

And while I am grateful for the painstaking attention to detail my doctors are taking with my case, it's the endless waiting (for biopsies, biopsy results, healing, doctors appointments, surgery, more healing, scans, needles, even more surgery, even more healing, oncologists appointments, chemotherapy, inevitable hair loss, likely exhaustion, etc, whine, etc, whine) that has proven to be the most difficult task of all.

My chemotherapy oncologist has ordered a PET and CT scan to see if the cancer has made its way elsewhere in my body. The scans will take place sometime over the next week or so. But of course, now every little twinge I feel from my head to my toes has me worried the cancer has spread! Is it possible to get hang-nail cancer??! Hopefully these scans will provide much needed and long overdue peace of mind for me and my family.

The scans will be followed by my mastectomy/reconstruction surgery, currently scheduled for January 12th, which at my request will allow me to enjoy Christmas and New Year's with my family.

Surgery will take about 6 hours to complete and will also include further lymph node extraction. After which I will stay 2-3 nights in the hospital and experience about one month of feeling like there's an elephant standing on my chest (talk about the elephant in the room!). Unfortunately, reconstruction will involve two to three more surgeries over a one year to eighteen month time period.

So as I said in the beginning of this post, slow and steady wins the race, or in biblical terms - 'the race is not to the swift' (Ecclesiastes 9.11).

As always, I thank God for my family and friends...I could not do this without you.

Love,

Lisa

Silver Lining #5

My Friends. Thank you to all my wonderfully loving and supportive friends. Each one of you has found just the right thing to say and/or do at just the right moment. God bless you, every one!

Silver Lining #4

My husband, my father, my brothers, my brothers-in-law, my sons, my uncles. Here's to the strong men in my life.

Steve read the article below regarding parsley and it's possible cancer fighting qualities....since then he's been putting chopped fresh parsley on everything I eat! I will not be surprised if he starts topping my desserts! As I said before, I'm the luckiest girl in the world!

PARSLEY:

May help: Inhibit breast cancer-cell growth.
University of Missouri scientists found that this herb can actually inhibit breast cancer-cell growth, reported Holly Pevzner in the September/October 2011 issue of EatingWell Magazine. In the study, animals that were given apigenin, a compound abundant in parsley (and in celery), boosted their resistance to developing cancerous tumors. Experts recommend adding a couple pinches of minced fresh parsley to your dishes daily.

C Is Not Just For Cancer...

C is also for CLARITY and cancer certainly has the ability to give your life clarity. Personally, my mind has never been more clear about what is most important in life: Faith, Family, and Friends! I am greatly blessed with all three, and indeed, the true value and significance of each one will never escape me.

My latest pathology indicates that, while the Invasive Cancer was successfully excised with good margins (yippee!), the Ductal Carcinoma In Situ (contained cancer which can evolve into the invasive type) was still too close (literally within one cell) to the margins. In addition, even without getting all the DCIS out, that tumor is totaling over 4.5 centimeters. Disappointingly that means double mastectomy is imminent within the month.

Additionally, there is Lymphatic Vascular Invasion (invasive cancer in the blood vessels - not yippee!) As my Oncologist explained it, some cancers are not 'sticky' and may bypass the lymph nodes and head straight to the bloodstream looking for prime real estate elsewhere in the body to begin a new life of their own.

When LVI is present, doctors assume this means that the cancer has acquired the genetic mutation it needs to create its own blood vessels, a process called angiogenesis. Because a tumor that has the ability to create its own blood vessels may have already begun to spread cancer cells to other parts of the body, additional adjuvant therapies are required.

So...unfortunately for me, C is also for CHEMOTHERAPY - which will begin in January and last for 5 months. No radiation with a mastectomy.

What this all means is that a long, not so fun, and inevitably hairless battle is just beginning for me and my family. But chemo or not, it is only hair, right? Just last year I cut 8 inches and donated it to Pantene Beautiful Lengths because I figured someone out there with cancer needed the hair more than I did....ironic, right? And so I'm off to the salon once more to cut and donate my now regrown hair before it all falls out and goes to waste. (Did you know it takes 8 donated pony tails to make only one wig?)

Check it out: www.beautifullengths.wordpress.com

While this certainly does seem like the perfect time for me to try being a red headed siren, a blonde who has more fun, or a black haired beauty, bald will simply just have to do. So, just in case you think Santa might need suggestions for Christmas gifts for me, hats and scarves are at the top of my list!

Finally, please keep the faith my dear family and friends, because I have surely not lost mine.

God bless,

Lisa

Home from hospital and have a roommate..,

Surgery went well...I'm on Percocet and sleeping a lot. Surgeon did re-excision and removed 3 lymph nodes. Biopsy takes 3-4 business days....

Getting lots of TLC from Steve, my mom, my Aunt Sue, my kids, and my old barn cat.

XOXO

Lisa

Not a solar eclipse...

I may glow in the dark after my lymphoscintigraphy (yes, that's a real word!). Below is a picture of truly modern medicine. After a radiologist injected me with radioactive dye in the hope of finding sentinel node (think Paul Revere of lymphnodes!), they took this photo of the injection site (large dot) and sentinel node (small dot). Next they marked the area with sharpie (not just for school work anymore!) so my surgeon can more easily locate the lymphnode during surgery Friday. Truly amazing!

Believe...

"The capacity for hope is the most significant fact of life. It provides human beings with a sense of destination and the energy to get started." - Norman Cousins

My surgery is Friday...I hope for the best possible outcome. Thank you for your hope too.

Lisa

Silver Lining #3

My mother, my mother-in-law, my aunts, my sisters, my sisters-in-law, my daughter, my girlfriends.

Nobody Likes a Whiner...

Lets face it, nobody likes a whiner...but I am going to take a moment (at 2:28am) to whine when sleep evades me and my mind goes to scary scenarios. I have tried to be positive and have a good attitude - but I do, after all, have CANCER! Not a cold sore...not a cut finger...not a head cold, but cancer. And words like INVASIVE are not fluffy or harmless in the dead (pardon the death reference) of night.

I can't stop thinking about my friend, Darra, who battled breast cancer AND had the 'two year clear' only to die unexpectedly because cancer snuck back in where no one was looking.

I'm scared...it's scary...it stinks.

'Be Calm and Carry On' is a quote I recently read somewhere and strangely, for the most part, cancer does cast a calming net (along with sporadic anxiety attacks such as the one I'm sharing with you now). I really have tried to feed the 'good' wolf (see previous post!) more often than not, but sometimes the 'bad' wolf demands food too - and it's usually in the middle of a sleepless night such as this...I suppose, in the future, I should rethink feeding him chocolate cheesecake right before bedtime.

Fear not...the good wolf will be hungry again soon....sleep tight!

Don't Feed the Bad Wolf....

Thank you to my dear friend, Stevie, for sharing this story with me...

An elderly Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life.

He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me and it is between two wolves.  One wolf is bad - he is fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, competition, superiority, and ego.  The other wolf is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.  This same fight is going on inside you and inside every other person too."

They thought about it for a moment and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win, Grandfather?"

The elder simply replied, "The one you feed."

 

Don't Feed the Bad Wolf!

What Faith Can Do - Kutless

Check out this song!!

http://www.youtube.com/user/KutlessRock#p/u/12/7elxC8LXfzE

Surgery Scheduled

My next surgery will be in two weeks, at which time my surgeon will try once more to achieve cancer free margins. She will also locate and remove sentinel lymph nodes using radioactive dye and a Geiger Counter. I don't expect to find out the pathology results until after the Thanksgiving weekend....which is just as well because I'm going to hope for the best and look forward to enjoying a quiet, family filled holiday.

I find myself in constant vacillation between hope and fear with no real choice but to take one moment at a time...something quite difficult for a planner like me.

As always, thank you for reaching out...it means a lot to me and my family.

God bless,

Lisa

Silver Lining #2

I've been told by several people that cancer feeds on sugar. Therefor I have concluded that the more sugar I eat, the happier my cancer will be and soon it will forget about me!

Note: Should my situation become dire, send chocolate immediately!

Everything will be alright in the end...if it's not alright, it's not the end!

Hurry up and wait seems to be a recurring theme when battling cancer...though I'm very grateful for the time consuming thoroughness of my team of doctors!

In addition to the initial cancer sight, my MRI results revealed two additional spots in each breast that needed further evaluation. So after a 2 1/2 hour bi-lateral ultrasound today (half that time was spent in the waiting room) the ultrasound radiologist did not believe those areas to be cause for concern as of now and they will repeat the MRI in 6 months.

We are still waiting on the results of the genetic tests, but should hopefully hear next week sometime.

My surgeon believes it is best to go forward with the next surgery to try to obtain clear margins, during which time she will also take lymph nodes for biopsy. The surgery date will be confirmed on Monday, October 31st and will take place sometime in the next two weeks.

And so since it's not alright yet, it is not yet the end!

God bless!

Lisa

Silver Lining #1

Thinking that you have amazing, loving, wonderfully supportive family and friends...and then realizing that you KNOW you do.

Health Update

Dear family and friends,

I started this blog to keep everyone updated on my fight with breast cancer...and to let you know how much I cherish your support and friendship! There is not one card, email, phone call, or text that is missed by me! Although I may not be able to respond as timely as I would like, please don't stop reaching out because there will come a time when I will need your support at just the perfect moment.

After finding a lump in my breast and undergoing a lumpectomy, I was diagnosed with Ductal Carcinoma In Situ and Invasive Breast Cancer with cancer broadly in the margins (the surgeon was not able to remove all the cancer from my breast). I have since met with a Radiation Oncologist, a Chemotherapy Oncologist, and a Geneticist to discuss my options for treatment. I underwent a Neuroscan MRI just today to rule out additional breast cancer lesions. Based on the results of the MRI and the genetic test, my surgeon will recommend the best course of action going forward. Steve and I will be meeting with her again Friday October 28th.

If you'd like to get further updates, please submit your email address and you will receive an email each time I update this blog. Also, please feel free to post comments! I'm notified after each one and I would love to hear from you.

I plan to "Fight like a girl" and win...so please keep up the rally cries!

Love,

Lisa

Cancer gives you two lives...

Cancer gives you two lives...one before cancer and one after cancer. From what I know so far, the one after cancer is going to be much better!