C Is Not Just For Cancer...

C is also for CLARITY and cancer certainly has the ability to give your life clarity. Personally, my mind has never been more clear about what is most important in life: Faith, Family, and Friends! I am greatly blessed with all three, and indeed, the true value and significance of each one will never escape me.

My latest pathology indicates that, while the Invasive Cancer was successfully excised with good margins (yippee!), the Ductal Carcinoma In Situ (contained cancer which can evolve into the invasive type) was still too close (literally within one cell) to the margins. In addition, even without getting all the DCIS out, that tumor is totaling over 4.5 centimeters. Disappointingly that means double mastectomy is imminent within the month.

Additionally, there is Lymphatic Vascular Invasion (invasive cancer in the blood vessels - not yippee!) As my Oncologist explained it, some cancers are not 'sticky' and may bypass the lymph nodes and head straight to the bloodstream looking for prime real estate elsewhere in the body to begin a new life of their own.

When LVI is present, doctors assume this means that the cancer has acquired the genetic mutation it needs to create its own blood vessels, a process called angiogenesis. Because a tumor that has the ability to create its own blood vessels may have already begun to spread cancer cells to other parts of the body, additional adjuvant therapies are required.

So...unfortunately for me, C is also for CHEMOTHERAPY - which will begin in January and last for 5 months. No radiation with a mastectomy.

What this all means is that a long, not so fun, and inevitably hairless battle is just beginning for me and my family. But chemo or not, it is only hair, right? Just last year I cut 8 inches and donated it to Pantene Beautiful Lengths because I figured someone out there with cancer needed the hair more than I did....ironic, right? And so I'm off to the salon once more to cut and donate my now regrown hair before it all falls out and goes to waste. (Did you know it takes 8 donated pony tails to make only one wig?)

Check it out: www.beautifullengths.wordpress.com

While this certainly does seem like the perfect time for me to try being a red headed siren, a blonde who has more fun, or a black haired beauty, bald will simply just have to do. So, just in case you think Santa might need suggestions for Christmas gifts for me, hats and scarves are at the top of my list!

Finally, please keep the faith my dear family and friends, because I have surely not lost mine.

God bless,

Lisa

Home from hospital and have a roommate..,

Surgery went well...I'm on Percocet and sleeping a lot. Surgeon did re-excision and removed 3 lymph nodes. Biopsy takes 3-4 business days....

Getting lots of TLC from Steve, my mom, my Aunt Sue, my kids, and my old barn cat.

XOXO

Lisa

Not a solar eclipse...

I may glow in the dark after my lymphoscintigraphy (yes, that's a real word!). Below is a picture of truly modern medicine. After a radiologist injected me with radioactive dye in the hope of finding sentinel node (think Paul Revere of lymphnodes!), they took this photo of the injection site (large dot) and sentinel node (small dot). Next they marked the area with sharpie (not just for school work anymore!) so my surgeon can more easily locate the lymphnode during surgery Friday. Truly amazing!

Believe...

"The capacity for hope is the most significant fact of life. It provides human beings with a sense of destination and the energy to get started." - Norman Cousins

My surgery is Friday...I hope for the best possible outcome. Thank you for your hope too.

Lisa

Silver Lining #3

My mother, my mother-in-law, my aunts, my sisters, my sisters-in-law, my daughter, my girlfriends.

Nobody Likes a Whiner...

Lets face it, nobody likes a whiner...but I am going to take a moment (at 2:28am) to whine when sleep evades me and my mind goes to scary scenarios. I have tried to be positive and have a good attitude - but I do, after all, have CANCER! Not a cold sore...not a cut finger...not a head cold, but cancer. And words like INVASIVE are not fluffy or harmless in the dead (pardon the death reference) of night.

I can't stop thinking about my friend, Darra, who battled breast cancer AND had the 'two year clear' only to die unexpectedly because cancer snuck back in where no one was looking.

I'm scared...it's scary...it stinks.

'Be Calm and Carry On' is a quote I recently read somewhere and strangely, for the most part, cancer does cast a calming net (along with sporadic anxiety attacks such as the one I'm sharing with you now). I really have tried to feed the 'good' wolf (see previous post!) more often than not, but sometimes the 'bad' wolf demands food too - and it's usually in the middle of a sleepless night such as this...I suppose, in the future, I should rethink feeding him chocolate cheesecake right before bedtime.

Fear not...the good wolf will be hungry again soon....sleep tight!

Don't Feed the Bad Wolf....

Thank you to my dear friend, Stevie, for sharing this story with me...

An elderly Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life.

He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me and it is between two wolves.  One wolf is bad - he is fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, competition, superiority, and ego.  The other wolf is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.  This same fight is going on inside you and inside every other person too."

They thought about it for a moment and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win, Grandfather?"

The elder simply replied, "The one you feed."

 

Don't Feed the Bad Wolf!

What Faith Can Do - Kutless

Check out this song!!

http://www.youtube.com/user/KutlessRock#p/u/12/7elxC8LXfzE

Surgery Scheduled

My next surgery will be in two weeks, at which time my surgeon will try once more to achieve cancer free margins. She will also locate and remove sentinel lymph nodes using radioactive dye and a Geiger Counter. I don't expect to find out the pathology results until after the Thanksgiving weekend....which is just as well because I'm going to hope for the best and look forward to enjoying a quiet, family filled holiday.

I find myself in constant vacillation between hope and fear with no real choice but to take one moment at a time...something quite difficult for a planner like me.

As always, thank you for reaching out...it means a lot to me and my family.

God bless,

Lisa

Silver Lining #2

I've been told by several people that cancer feeds on sugar. Therefor I have concluded that the more sugar I eat, the happier my cancer will be and soon it will forget about me!

Note: Should my situation become dire, send chocolate immediately!