God said, No...

I asked God to take away my bad habits.

God said, No. It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.


I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.

God said, No. His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary.


I asked God to grant me patience.

God said, No. Patience is a byproduct of tribulations;
it isn't granted, it is learned.


I asked God to give me happiness..

God said, No. I give you blessings;
Happiness is up to you.


I asked God to spare me pain.

God said, No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares
and brings you closer to me.


I asked God to make my spirit grow.

God said, No. You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.


I asked God for all things
that I might enjoy life.

God said, No. I will give you life,
so that you may enjoy all things.


I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.

God said... Ahhhh,
finally you have the idea.

- Courtesy of my Aunt Wild Roz

Time really does fly...

...doesn't it?

Making the Most of Your Time - by Joyce Meyer

Time really does fly, doesn't it? On the other hand, in some situations, it may seem like time crawls! No matter how fast or slow it feels like time goes by, each of us only has a certain amount of time on this earth. With that in mind, I want to ask you, what are you doing with your time?

Time is such a gift from God! I see every day how He takes His time to make us what He wants us to be. And then, in His mercy and grace, He gives us time to get in agreement with what He's doing in our lives so we can experience His goodness. What a loving God!

So, ask yourself, "Am I in agreement with what God is doing in me? Or, am I struggling and fighting, impatiently trying to do things my way?"

I can assure you, if you're struggling with God, you're just wasting your time, but if you're in agreement with Him, you're using your time for great things.

Remember, God is gracious. He takes His time. We might think He's taking too long when, in His goodness, He is just waiting for us to line up with the work He's doing in us. He won't rush. He is patient. Our struggling only delays our progress.

So maybe this is a good time to change your outlook and start looking ahead to a new way of doing things, a new vision for life, a renewed faith and trust in the One who is always at work in us, and always for our good.

My encouragement to you is to trust God and spend your time getting in agreement with what He is doing in your life. Let Him define your purpose. Know in your heart that He has great plans, and no matter how much time He takes, He loves you, and He always has your best interest at heart.

Prayer Starter: Lord, I want to spend my time agreeing with, not fighting, the great work You are accomplishing in me. I thank You that when I start to waste time, You always remind me that You love me and that Your timing is always best.

10 Things Cancer Can Do...

By Lisa M. Bakos

It can bring out the best in your self, your friends, your family, and your community.

It can create perfect vision, like you never knew you could see so clearly.

It can allow you to use less deodorant, because you're no longer sweating the small stuff.

It can make realize your beauty is so much more important and everlasting on the inside, than on the outside.

It can temporarily save you from worrying about getting lice from movie theater seats - now that's got you thinking!

It can cause you to always remember to say please and thank you to everyone you meet - even if you're thanking the person who's administering the chemotherapy.

It can give you the opportunity to live two lives -the life before you had cancer, and life after you survived it.

It can make you 'love deeper and speak sweeter'.

It can teach you to laugh more, cry less, forgive more, fight less, compliment more, complain less, give more and take less.

It can let you happily realize you never were the One in control of your life to begin with.

It Could Be Worse...

Thank God, but round two of chemo (and I hope in not jinxing myself!) has not been as bad as round one! Still nauseous, and now I'm losing splinter sharp pieces of hair, but it could be worse...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AFf0ysgNiM&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Two down...

...ten to go!

Here at my second chemotherapy with my faithful sister Jerri. While there, I ran into my dear friend Jodie Dowling, who went through breast cancer three years ago. As Jodie put it, treatment is never really over, as she sat next to me getting infused with a bone building/cancer preventing drug...one I will someday be receiving sometime down the road.

So glad to have soul sisters like Jodie, my Aunt Roz, and Carol Perry who have battled and are surviving cancer...they are all an inspiration to me!!

A Truly Beautiful Girl...

A wonderful friend and truly beautiful girl, Stevie Sturla, made this video recapping our day at Oakland Children's Hospital, "shaving the way to conquer kids' cancer!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kXaGa5SJLg&fmt=18

www.sturladesign.com

Bald IS beautiful!

There aren't enough words to describe how amazing the St. Baldrick's event was today! Collectively, the fundraising efforts of over 240+ shavees and countless volunteers raised over $140,000.00 for childhood cancer research!

I was surrounded by old friends, many family members (including my husband, son, nephew, two brothers-in-law, and one brother also shaving!), and some wonderful new friends!! I even had a surprise visit from my cancer surviving Aunt and Godmother - she's the one with the orange braids!

Here are just a few pictures! More to follow!

Please keep sending your hat photos!

XO

This is it!

It's the big shave, Saturday at 12:30 at Oakland Children's Hospital for St. Baldrick's Day! Thanks again to all who donated, and if you'd still like to...there's still time!

http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/LisaBakos

I will send pics, promise!

A picture is worth a thousand words!

I've had so many wonderful friends and family send me photos of themselves donning hats....it makes me smile every time I get one!

Please send me your hat photo if you haven't already done so! Even my horse is getting in the spirit!

I'm making a collage of the pictures and I really want YOU in it!! Email or text me please!

Feeling Alive Again!

As I've already described, chemo sucks. It's like being a hydrangea flower deprived of water...only to blossom again once refreshed. That's sort of how I've felt these past 5 days...and I'm just starting to feel a little less wilted everyday.

My family has continued to be wonderful, even when I'm not necessarily being the most polite patient. Below is recent video of Steve, Jillian, and Josef responding to me waking up from a nap:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11AejNV5h_0&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Enjoy!

XO

"Women Who Wear Hats...

...Stand Heads Above the Rest!" - Erma Bombeck.

Today, I donned my first hat, though I still have hair, because I wanted to see how it felt. I was taken to lunch by a dear, loving, and cherished friend, who helped me to feel like quite the fashionista!

I must admit, it felt good! Please wear a fun hat in my honor and send me a picture! Think of me as you do, and I will gather strength from the images I have of all my friends wearing fancy hats about town. Gentlemen, you hat up too!

XO

Lisa

One down...

...eleven to go.

Chemo is awful. It is vile. It is poison at it's finest.

I have never been much of a drinker, in large part because it only took one or two hangovers to cure me of any taste for alcohol - ever. Recovery from chemo is like having a hangover that lasts and lasts for days on end.

So one chemotherapy session down, eleven more to go.

Maybe now I will lose some weight! Jenny Craig's got nothin' on chemo!

Afternoon Delight...

I am dead today...feel drained and weak. But for some reason I have this stuck in my head:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LysBpySVn_g&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Only 'afternoon delight' for me means taking a nap.

Cancer may have tried to kill me...

...but today marks the start of me kicking cancer's ass! Cancer picked the wrong girl to mess with!!!

Here with Chemo Team #1 - my amazing husband Steve, and his mother visiting from New York for extra support!

Chemo 101

Biotene - check
Ondansetron - check
Prochlorprerazine - check
Emend - check
Prilocaine - check
Lorazepam - check
Claritin (really) - check

And that's just the stuff I get BEFORE the chemo infusion!

What to wear, casual or dressy?

Man, I really do have great hair!

I can get away with saying that because, well, I do have cancer! But seriously, I really DO have great hair! I have ALWAYS been blessed from God with great hair too...maybe occasional bad haircuts, or styles, but for the most part, really GREAT hair!

If you doubt that I have ever NOT had great hair, take a look at this picture of me in kindergarten!

I am merely saying all this because I don't really think you appreciate things until they're gone...and not just little things, like hair, big things too, like friends, family, you know...the important things in life.

So next time you have a bad hair day, laugh when you think of me, instead of worrying...I'm about to have a bad hair year!!

XO

Like getting blood from a turnip!

In case you didn't know this Cancer 101 fact: once lymph nodes have been removed, you can never get blood drawn or have blood pressure taken from the affected arms...so that leaves...the leg!! Weird. Is this real life?

Just had my pre-chemo blood drawn...I'd better get used to it and get a pedicure!

It seems like any other ordinary day...

It does. It's beautiful, sunny, there are birds chirping, squirrels scurrying. I can hear the hum of my dryer drying it's 5003rd load of laundry. I can hear the buzz of someone's lawn mower cutting the grass. Yes, it seems like any other ordinary day...only it's not for me. It's the Sunday before my first chemotherapy...in just three days time.

I am extraordinarily sad today. I fear I will become even more so tomorrow, the next day, and the next.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Matthew 22:30

I want to believe that, I'm really trying to believe...but today, I'm having a hard time doing so.

Please pray for me, I need it especially now.

XO

Lisa