No news is good news, I suppose...at least that's what I'm trying to convince myself of. It's been just over a week since we left my son 3,000 miles away on the other side of the country. Much to my disappointment, I've only heard from him a few times - once to ask me to upgrade his meal plan, once to ask me to buy tickets to a comedy show being offered over Parent's Weekend (in 20 days, 13 hours, and 24 minutes from now when I'll get to see my son again!), and once in a text to share a short, but moving video clip of the university's opening mass, at which 10,000 students in a dimly lit Pavilion held candles and sang a blessing over the incoming freshman class - WOW!
I must say, I'm a bit surprised. I guess I had an inflated opinion of just how much he'd miss me and our family. I've tried to give him his 'space' only sending occasional texts like "Hope you're having a great day!" and "Happy first day of classes!" I must admit, I'm a bit like a desperate girlfriend, carrying my phone with me everywhere I go with the volume button on high, coveting every bar indicating I have a full battery just in case my son DOES decide to call. I've clamored to my ringing phone excitedly like a crazed school girl on more than a few occasions - so, sorry if I seem disappointed at the sound of your voice should you call.
I miss my boy, I really do. I have likened the departure of 18 year olds off to college to a bunch of chicks venturing out in the barnyard for the first time - so many exciting things to see, do, eat, drink...yet so many dangers lurking at every turn for an unsuspecting chick. My worry for my son was tragically compounded by the recent death of a local boy on the eve of his senior year of high school and the death yesterday of a sophomore girl at the very university my son now attends - just four days into the new school year. My heart breaks for the families of those children, for it is a poignant reminder of just how precious life truly is.
Circumstance, success, and accidents happen - in those things I recognize that my child, like anyone else's, will need to own their own journey in life as they are being 'fine tuned' in their faith.
In all my angst and worry, I've discovered that the farther I go from God, or the realization that He truly is the One in control, the worse I feel. After battling cancer and giving it ALL up to Him, you'd think I'd know better by now. I believe He is once again fine tuning my faith even more during this major transition in my life and the life of my family. I have done the job that God blessed me with, now I need to recognize that it's His time to take over. "Teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older, they will remain upon it." Proverbs 22:6.
And just like the song I dramatically hum to myself, God tells us - Don't you forget about Me.
I promise, I won't.
1 comment:
Great song! Do what I do: On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100%. And that's pretty good.
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