As my surgery fast approaches, I find myself being more and more challenged regarding my faith. As if cancer and chemo weren't enough, I threw my back out last week and it is absolutely prohibiting me from doing just about everything I need to get done prior to thursday. At first, my response to God was "Seriously God? What's next?". Then I waited anxiously for the thunder clap and lightening bolt!
To quote a line from the movie War Horse, "I used to think God gave everyone their fair share of bad luck, now I believe I have gotten more than my fair share."
But then, I took a deeper look into why bad things happen, and not just to me, but to everyone, and I really do believe it is to challenge us to be better people, to search for the silver lining, no matter how hard or how long it takes to find it.
For me, there have been several silver linings, and I know I will continue to find them along this journey. The biggest one so far is, without doubt, the love and support I have received from my husband, my children, my family, my friends, my doctors. Thank you for being there when I have needed you most.
"That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust." Matthew 5:45
Please keep the prayers coming...it means so much to me.
Lisa
11 comments:
Lisa, your blog is such an inspiration. Please know that we are praying for you and your family. You will be on the hearts of many during your surgery on Thursday.
God Bless
Sandy and Neil
Just like Horton Hears a Who, God hears our many prayers for you and your family. Rest assured He will be hearing them in force on Thursday.
Much love,
Julie
Lisa,
Two things that helped me prior to my hip surgery and lung surgery.I will be praying for your speedy recovery.
1. I mentally gave my body to God to hold in his arms...I could not believe what a relief it was!
2.I came to understand that all of the medical research over the years,the training and dedication of the medical staff, and pain medication were discovered and put in place by God for this moment.
Love, Uncle Jim
Lisa
We are thinking of you and know that things are going to be just fine. The comments that your Uncle Jim said are so true -- you are not in this alone. God is and will be by your side when you go through the operation. As you become 100% confident that He is beside you, I promise you that you will experience peace like you have never felt before ... I know this because I experienced it myself and had the same thoughts that you have expressed in your blog. I just simply needed to trust in Him. Garth and Rita
Garth & Rita
A prayer for Lisa....
Heavenly Father - You are the Alpha and the Omega. You are the beginning and the end. You have created each of us with uniqueness. You are also Jehovah Rapha - the Great Healer. I approach you Father asking that you guide the surgeon's hands on Thursday. I ask, Lord God, that you shine your light brightly on the cancer so that every last vestige of it be removed. I pray that you give the attending doctors and nurses an extra measure of strength and endurance while providing extraordinary assistance during Lisa's surgery. Father - I ask that you be with Steve, Alec, Jillian and Josef and give them peace and comfort - whispering words of comfort. I ask that you also attend to the fears that each of Lisa's family members as well as Lisa might be harboring. Surround them with your love. Surround them with your peace. I pray Lord God that the surgery is successful. Completely. I pray that Lisa heals quickly and without too much pain. I pray for understanding for her family as they deal with the uncertainty that the very word "cancer" conjures up. You are The Great I Am. You are Jehovah Jireh - the Great Provider. I am asking that you supply the Bakos family with such a great provision, that there is no mistaking its origin. Thank you Lord God.
After reading that beautiful, inspiring prayer, I have but one word..."AMEN!"
AMEN !!!
Sweet Lisa...good luck tomorrow! I know very well what you're going through. Often when we lose hope and think it's the end, God smiles from above and says, "Relax, Sweetheart, it's just a bend, not the end!"
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9
My Dear Darling Daughter Lisa,
I know you must be wondering why I haven't been writing comments on this beautiful record of your journey.The truth is that I'm writing them every day in my head.
You are a wonderful Mother, so you no doubt understand my feelings of wanting to "fix" this....to put a bandage on it, dry your tears, hold you on my lap like I did when you were a little girl. But I can't. I can't make it better and I can't take it away from you....even though I would have given anything if it could have been me instead of you.
I am inspired by your courage, strength and faith as evidenced in your writing. It brings me helplessly to my knees and I am weak. There is nothing I can do except be amazed about the little girl we raised............However, when days are dark for you, and you are scared, weak and discouraged and we talk and cry together, I regain my motherly strength and can miraculously be strong and encouraging for you. This amazing bond between Mothers and Daughters is a mystery that we are apparently blessed with....our strengths and weaknesses are balanced between us like a childhood teeter totter.
So, when I am scared and overwhelmed, I just think of you as a child growing up. You were always like "The Little Engine That Could" Whatever you set your mind to, you accomplished......and NOTHING could stop you!
This is the image I hold in my heart: you were almost 3 and had been sick so many times that the Dr. decided to take your tonsils out early. As we prepared to leave the hospital, the Dr. stressed to us that you needed to be restful and quiet for a week. We arrived home and delicately took you out of the car.......whereupon, you took off and led us on a merry chase around the tree, smiling and laughing all the way. When we finally "caught" you, you had that usual big smile.
So, you "go around this tree" my little girl and get better as soon as you can! All My Love Always, Mom
My sister-in-law is going through chemo and she wrote, "I choose to be a warrior, not a worrier!" I know it's hard to change those thought patterns but it made me stop and think how can I change my fearful thoughts into battle cries.
I will be sounding those battle cries tomorrow along with my prayers. You're in God's hands and he will carry you through.
Lots of Love, Marc & Suzie
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